You Drive Me Bananas!
by Flightless Wings
Summary: Marceline eats a banana. PB wants her to eat something else. Short, short drabble. Rated M.


**Disclaimer: Characters are Pen Wards**

* * *

"Seriously Marceline?" Princess Bubblegum says irritably, squeezing a test tube so hard she's surprised when it doesn't shatter in her hand. "Could you please stop it with your _incessant_ chewing noises?"

She'd been trying to perform a very important experiment that called for extreme focus all day. Marceline had been hanging over her shoulder the whole time, smacking on a banana and spitting out billions of questions. Are you finished yet? Ooh, what does this thingy do? Bonnibel had about had it with the vampire.

"What _incessant_ chewing noises?" Marceline asks, cheeks stuffed with mushy banana. She's pinching the peel between her thumb and pointer finger, swinging the banana through the air. Just when Bonnie is about to go bananas, the peel slips from Marceline's fingers and flies through the air, landing right smack in a tub full of various chemicals.

Silence. Silence. The anticipation builds. Marceline takes a step backwards, making her way towards the door.

"Don't. Move!" Princess Bubblegum growls, fists clenched at her sides. She takes a pair of candy cane tweezers and lifts the half eaten banana from her ruined experiment. She holds it up so Marceline can see, liquids dripping from the peel and onto the lab floor.

Marceline takes another step backwards.

"I said, don't move!" Bonnie yells, marching forward to stand in front of her girlfriend. PB holds the banana right in front of Marceline's nose, swinging it back and forth.

"Do you have any idea what you just threw this banana into?"

Marceline shakes her head. "I didn't throw it, Bonnie, I dropped-"

"_I said_, do you have any idea what you just threw this banana into?"

Marceline shakes her head again, sweat building on her brow.

"It's an unfinished substance I was trying _all day_ to create. It was_ supposed _to accelerate the process of what you uneducated _hounds_ call foreplay. It was supposed to be a surprise because you know how I get sometimes when I'm not in the "mood"! But now? Now it's been contaminated by the same thing that you've been smacking on this whole time while I've been trying to concentrate! Do you know how hard it is to concentrate when my girlfriend is _eating a banana right next to my ear_? So take your filthy musa acuminata and _get out_!" She flings the banana in Marceline's face, angry tears welling up in her eyes. It lands on Marceline's nose and slides down her face.

"Bonnie," Marceline says, picking the banana off of her chin and reaching out to hold the princess in her arms. "I'm sorry. I'll fix it, I promise!" She gently lets go of PB and goes up to the counter where the tub full of chemicals is bubbling uncontrollably. She takes random vials of liquids and starts dumping them into the ruined project. Bonnibel stands with her arms at her sides, too upset to try and stop her.

"Okay," Marceline says after she's dumped almost every liquid she could get her hands on into the tub. "It's okay now! See?" She dips a test tube into the tub and shows the steaming pink liquid to her girlfriend.

Bonnibel covers her face with her hand, shaking her head in disbelief. She walks over to the vampire and takes the vial from her hand, examining the color and thickness. After recording her observations in her scientific notebook, she looks at Marceline in amazement.

"Somehow," She says, "Somehow in Glob's name, you have managed to create an edible lubricant!"

"A what?"

"An edible lubricant! Lubricant you can drink! Somehow by mixing the random chemicals that you selected with no comprehension of their properties or effects, you have created an edible lubricant!"  
Marceline scratches her chin. "Okay?"

PB slaps her forehead with her hand. "You butt! That means this substance has multiple purposes!" No response. "Multiple _sexual_ purposes."

Marceline's eyes widen in realization. "Oh! You mean like when I'm eating you out I can finger you at the same time? With no foreplay or chiz?"

Bonnibel blushes at her girlfriend's bluntness, then nods.

"Well hop up here on this counter and lets try it out!"

"I don't really think we need to use it tonight, Marcy."

Marceline looks at the princess, confused.

"It was the banana!" PB blurts, throwing her hands up in the air. "You were eating that thing so _sexually_."

**AN: Thanks for reading! :) Just a random story I thought up. I might continue it if you guys want me to? Otherwise this is a one shot.**


End file.
